Friday, December 30, 2011

funny quotes












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Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever.  ~Author Unknown

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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around.  But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.  ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)

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Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.  ~Jean Paul Richter

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We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.  ~Author Unknown

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Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life.  ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities



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    A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age.  ~Robert Frost

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    There is still no cure for the common birthday.  ~John Glenn

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    Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever.  ~Author Unknown

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    In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups.  In old age, we yearn to be kids.  It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order.  ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com

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    We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it.  ~Author Unknown





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    Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown.  ~Author Unknown

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    It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge.  ~Phyllis Diller

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    One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters.  ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640

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    Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once.  ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990

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    My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard.  Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass."  "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply.  "We're raising boys."  ~Harmon Killebrew

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    Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.  ~Jean Paul Richter

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    I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich.  ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter

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    Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever.  ~Author Unknown

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    Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament.  But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland

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    We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march.  ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881

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    A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun.  Enjoy the trip.  ~Author Unknown

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    Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body.  ~Elizabeth Stone

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    A father is always making his baby into a little woman.  And when she is a woman he turns her back again.  ~Enid Bagnold

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    Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away.  ~Dinah Craik

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    It kills you to see them grow up.  But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't.  ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams





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    Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever.  ~Don Marquis

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    Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.  ~Author Unknown

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    Are we not like two volumes of one book?  ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore

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    He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it.  ~Clarence Budington Kelland

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    Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time.  ~Jean Paul Richter





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