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Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
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The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
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Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
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A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
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Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor
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The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
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The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
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Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
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Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
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The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
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It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
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He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asquith
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It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
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He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
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In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
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Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
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Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
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