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I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
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I still have a full deck; I just shuffle slower now. ~Author Unknown
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Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
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Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
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Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
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Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. ~Author Unknown
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A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. ~Enid Bagnold
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First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
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Oh, the comfort, the inexpressible comfort of feeling safe with a person, having neither to weigh thoughts nor measure words, but pouring them all out, just as they are, chaff and grain together, certain that a faithful hand will take and sift them, keep what is worth keeping, and with a breath of kindness blow the rest away. ~Dinah Craik
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Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
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Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
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Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
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A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman's birthday but never remembers her age. ~Robert Frost
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Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
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Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
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When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
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Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
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Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
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Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
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Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
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Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
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