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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
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The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
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There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994
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I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
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Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth Stone
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It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't. ~Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams
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Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
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First you forget names; then you forget faces; then you forget to zip up your fly; and then you forget to unzip your fly. ~Branch Rickey
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In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
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Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
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Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
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Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever. ~Author Unknown
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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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Are we not like two volumes of one book? ~Marceline Desbordes-Valmore
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Our birthdays are feathers in the broad wing of time. ~Jean Paul Richter
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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
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There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994
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There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
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He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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Youth is a wonderful thing. What a crime to waste it on children. ~George Bernard Shaw
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In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
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Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope. ~Bill Cosby
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I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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