Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act. ~Truman Capote
May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely. ~Ogden Nash
We advance in years somewhat in the manner of an invading army in a barren land; the age that we have reached, as the saying goes, we but hold with an outpost, and still keep open communications with the extreme rear and first beginnings of the march. ~Robert Louis Stevenson, "Virginibus Puerisque II," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to go to pieces like this but we all have to do it. ~Mark Twain
It would seem that something which means poverty, disorder and violence every single day should be avoided entirely, but the desire to beget children is a natural urge. ~Phyllis Diller
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
We know we're getting old when the only thing we want for our birthday is not to be reminded of it. ~Author Unknown
Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
One father is more than a hundred Schoolemasters. ~George Herbert, Outlandish Proverbs, 1640
Just remember, once you're over the hill you begin to pick up speed. ~Charles Schulz
Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
Old as she was, she still missed her daddy sometimes. ~Gloria Naylor
In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
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