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Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
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Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
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Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
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Middle age is the time when a man is always thinking that in a week or two he will feel as good as ever. ~Don Marquis
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The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
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Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called Being a Father so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. ~Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities
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Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
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May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
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There is still no cure for the common birthday. ~John Glenn
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I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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Middle age is having a choice between two temptations and choosing the one that'll get you home earlier. ~Dan Bennett
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Henry James once defined life as that predicament which precedes death, and certainly nobody owes you a debt of honor or gratitude for getting him into that predicament. But a child does owe his father a debt, if Dad, having gotten him into this peck of trouble, takes off his coat and buckles down to the job of showing his son how best to crash through it. ~Clarence Budington Kelland
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The first sign of maturity is the discovery that the volume knob also turns to the left. ~Jerry M. Wright
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Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father! ~Lydia M. Child, Philothea: A Romance, 1836
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Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
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The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. ~Lucille Ball
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Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest. ~Larry Lorenzoni
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Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
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Wisdom doesn't necessarily come with age. Sometimes age just shows up all by itself. ~Tom Wilson
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In childhood, we yearn to be grown-ups. In old age, we yearn to be kids. It just seems that all would be wonderful if we didn't have to celebrate our birthdays in chronological order. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com
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Dad, you're someone to look up to no matter how tall I've grown. ~Author Unknown
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Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
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A birthday is just the first day of another 365-day journey around the sun. Enjoy the trip. ~Author Unknown
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There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. ~John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery, 1994
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Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician. ~Author Unknown
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A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
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I'm sixty years of age. That's 16 Celsius. ~George Carlin, Brain Droppings, 1997
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When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years. ~Author unknown, commonly attributed to Mark Twain but no evidence has yet been found for this (Thanks, Garson O'Toole!)
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My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." ~Harmon Killebrew
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